(CNN) - Following his big rally endorsing Herman Cain for president in South Carolina last week, comedian Stephen Colbert announced Monday he was calling it quits.
"My fellow Americans of South Carolina: While your turnout on Saturday was historic, unfortunately–and no one could have predicted this–Herman Cain did not win the South Carolina primary," Colbert said on his Comedy Central show.
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He added: "So it is with a heavy heart and a spastic colon, that I am re-suspending Herman Cain's suspended campaign."
Colbert had tried to get his name on the Palmetto State ballot, but since he missed the November filing deadline and because the state doesn't allow write-in votes, Colbert urged supporters to vote for the former Godfather's Pizza executive in his stead.
Cain suspended his campaign last month but his name remained on the ballot.
The faux TV news host also announced plans to end his own short-lived White House bid, saying he was shutting down the presidential exploratory committee he started nearly two weeks ago - members of which, he joked, included Henry Kissinger, a "super intelligent" ferret, the iPhone software Siri, and a roll of quarters.
"So now that my exploration has come to an end, who knows what I'm going to do. Maybe I'll be like Herman Cain and hit the road in a bus with my face on it," Colbert said. "Maybe I'll hit the road in a bunch of tiny cars, each with a different part of my face on it."
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Great, what am I supposed to do with all these lawn signs now? And this tat on my shoulder ain't coming off any time soon. Wait, Colbert 2016!
Cain still got 1% of the SC primary vote. That means Colbert has at least a tenth of the legitimacy of Ron Paul. So with all his white supremacist money and rabid internet fanbois, Paul is only 90% less full of garbage than a fictional conservative pundit comedian.
The Republibots showing their distate for Colbert truly exposes their true fear. That the Republican Party is antiquated and dead. It's full of ancient relics from the tyranny of the Reagan years and our economy as the end result. They're clasping for rope and pulling out short straws. Colbert would be leagues better than any candidate the GOP could ever hope to offer at this point.
This guy really is funny and talanted. Anyone hear him sing with James Taylor. Might make a great replacement for Jay Leno who is not funny nor talanted.
Colbert has a better grasp of the issues than Obama.
I was kind of looking forward to him sitting across the table negotiatiing with foreign leaders. Maybe start out like an interview, and then telling them what he would like and then getting them to give up power without knowing they did so.
Vader – So what happens to the Super PAC?
You mean Colbert's retirement fund ?
And continuing to demonstrate how incredibly stupid the American campaign laws are, Stephen Colbert has requested back control of his Super PAC, which Jon Stewart is now refusing to give up, because they are "sitting on a mountain of money that they can now spend as they please".
Colbert is the only guy I'd elect to office. He's a satirist, and to the people who don't get his angle, he's just good for laughs, poking fun at politics and the media....but he has a better grasp on the issues than most politicians in office right now, and–out of character–he could really be a genuinely good leader.
Don: Sadly, CNN finds this clown worthy of notice.
Are you kidding? Stephen Cobert is the smartest clown at this circus.
colbert is a joke! making a mochary of our election process...republicans make us look stupid enuf"
I think you'll find The Colbert Report doesn't make mocharies. But Starbucks does.
Don: Sadly, CNN finds this clown worthy of notice.
I"m assuming from your dismissive comment that you like the current clown circus and don't feel there is room for more.
Stephen Cobert disproves my idea of the IQ level dropping once you cross the NC/SC border (at least for some).
The exact point of this was to mock. Not the election, but to show exactly how the Citizens United ruling has set up one of the dumbest systems in the form of Super PACs. Evidently you trolls have yet to watch the show, to show exactly how the rules of Super PACs can be bent to make sure no one is "coordinating," and how money can so easily transfer hands. It was brilliant satire and has shone an even brighter light on this horrible institution.
I feel sorry for people who did not get the fact that the point of Colbert's run for "President of the United States of South Carolina" was to get us to understand how dangerous the Super Pacs are. The whole idea of a Super Pac is so unregulated and can potentially lead to tremendous corruption. Since the real media has not focused on it, I thank Stephen Colbert for drawing attention to the issue. We would be better served by understanding that his humor is often couched in lessons for us all. He and Jon Stewart are the ones who draw attention to the hyprocrisy that is our politics not the real media.
Dang! Colbert was the only serious candidate the GOP had! Seriously!
4 more weeks! 4 more week!
We need people to present things in a different way. While some people tell us,with a straight face, the super PACs are needed, Colbert and Stewart show us, often with a straight face, how ridiculous it is. Finally we can see it is really serious and frightening. Folks, be sure to make your own decision by reading articles with various persuasions and listening to the candidates yourself and then research the candidates to see if you could support them.
Go with 50 tiny cars with a piece of your face on each one.
But, to be different – send one to each state. And then have them all drive to Alaska and park outside of Sarah P's house.
She needs a good laugh about now.... Mitt might be our nominee... Lord help us. BHO can't.
The bears can rest easy. Colbert's prepared war against bears has been averted.
Watching the Kartoon Kandidates in their endless "debates" is just like tuning in FoxNews: you end up knowing LESS about real issues than those who don't watch at all. That this has become the republican strategy is growing more obvious by the day!
Wire Palladin, S. F.
Maybe republicans could give up the conspiracy theory that there was no moon landing, and start an expedition to the sun. They could plan to go at night, because the sun is so hot
But...Stephen...all you had to do was ask us, man! We would have seen to it that you got elected, Bubba! Sheesh, man. Well alrighty then...after we go eat us some catfish and hush puppy platters 'n beer with loads of ketchup, we'll git right on startin' you up with the next election.
I just love how the same people that don't see how bad the super PAC's are for American politics don't get the joke in Colbert's run for the White House or his super PAC!
Hermain Cain's presidential candidancy has become a weird art project of sorts.
If nothing else, Colbert has shown just how comedic this whole republican presidential election has become. This has been the most ill-informed, no nothing about what's going on in the world and pandering to one group of people, candidates I have ever witnessed. You know who is the blame? McCain! It all started when McCain chose a complete imbecile for his running mate. This set the bar so low for the next election cycle. Every nut within a 100 mile radius crawled from under a rock and tossed their hat in the ring – Bachmann, Cain, Perry – just to name a few. It even brought out Newt who clearly thought – "I’m much more smarter than these guys, so what the heck, I'll run too." However, even old "historian" Newt had to dumb down and pander to the far white, oops, I mean far right. Let's not forget old homophobic Santorum. He's so anti-everything I'm amazed he does not wear a mask while campaigning in fear of catching anything (like blackness, poorness and gayness). Poor Ron Paul, he's been running for so long, no one really pays him much attention because he's like the crazy uncle who every now and then might say something sane. Romney is the equipped but he just doesn’t look or sound crazy enough to catch any traction (no matter how he flip flops or wear mom jeans). So, all Colbert really did was take his show on the road alongside other starring characters.