June 15th, 2013
02:52 PM ET
2 years ago

Palin embraces SNL sketch, dishes out her own humor

(CNN) - There are so many scandals in Washington, Sarah Palin said, they could be lumped under the name of the botched gun-running sting that landed Attorney General Eric Holder in hot water long before the Benghazi, IRS or NSA stories came to light.

"These scandals are coming at us so Fast and Furious," she quipped at an annual gathering of conservatives on Saturday.

More: There's an alphabet soup of government overreach, Cain says

Palin was the final speaker and star of the Faith and Freedom Coalition conference Saturday program, where she served up her criticism of President Barack Obama with her trademark witticisms.

The former Alaska governor and 2008 GOP vice presidential nominee offered no clues in her speech about her political future but was introduced by a video that culminated with footage of a roaring and rearing bear. It was a tribute to her "mama grizzly" effort on behalf of tenacious women running for public office.

Asked by CNN if she would be on the campaign trail again in 2014 on behalf of fellow Republicans, Palin replied, "Absolutely, more than ever."

"Time's-a-wasting. Things are moving really quickly and if we don't get out there and defend this republic then America will be transformed into something we do not recognize," she told CNN.

More: Priebus: Romney was vulnerable like a "duck on the pond"

She is also returning to television, where she has been largely absent since her contract with Fox News ended last year. The network said Thursday that she is returning as a paid commentator.

At the conference, she said the Washington controversies remind her of a sarcastic sketch performed by her "really, really good friends at Saturday Night Live." (They're friends, she said, because she provided actress Tina Fey, her look-alike, "job security.")

"Our government spied on every single one of your phone calls but it couldn't find two pot smoking dead-beat Bostonians with a hotline to terrorist central in Chechnya. Really?"

"Its built apparatus to sneak into all the good guys communications, but oops-a-daisy, it missed the Fort Hood mass murder of our own troops despite this Islamic terrorist declaring his ideology in numerous Army counseling sessions and on his own business cards," she said. "Really?"

More: Perry: Politicians aren't perfect

And the IRS "can't figure out how it managed to spend over 4 million dollars on a training conference because it didn't keep the receipts. Really? You try that with the IRS."

Palin swiped at a fellow Republican, too.

She appeared to reference former Florida Gov. Jeb Bush's remark at the same conference on Friday that immigrants were "more fertile," made in the context that legal immigration could "create an engine of economic prosperity."

Bush is a proponent of immigration reform.

Palin responded, "I think it's kind of dangerous territory, touchy territory, to want to debate this over one race's fertility rate over another, and I say this as someone who's kinda fertile herself.

"I don't think that's where we want to go in deciding how we incentivize the hard working responsible families that want to be in the light, follow the law, and become Americans versus those whose very first act on our soil is to break the law," she said.

The former governor took what appeared to be a light-hearted dig at first lady Michelle Obama, who said while being heckled at a fundraiser this month, "One of the things I don't do well is this."

Palin said near the top of her speech, "If there's any protesters, speak now or forever hold your peace, because facing the protesters, facing the critics - that's something I do well."

She voiced her oft-stated dislike for Washington, calling it a "hot mess," and said lawmakers should listen to a senator new to the city.

"You know what I wish Congress would do - just for a week, perhaps, just put themselves on cruise control," she said.

"Ted Cruz control," she added, naming the freshman GOP senator from Texas who she campaigned for last year.


Filed under: 2014 • 2016 • Sarah Palin
soundoff (395 Responses)
  1. Eddie

    Misleading headline. "Zingers" are lines that actually work and are witty.

    June 16, 2013 03:41 am at 3:41 am |
  2. Caleb Boone

    Dear Ladies and Gentlemen:

    I remember a conversation with a friend who told me she had purchased and read one of Governor Palin's books.

    I interrupted her.

    "Stop right there," I said. "Did you actually pay money for that book?"

    She said "Yes."

    I then asked: "And then you really did read it?"

    She began to understand my implied point and sheepishly answered "Yes."

    And so I said, again: "Now, let me get this straight. You pain $39.50 for the book, and then spent about three hours reading every word. You . . . actually . . . read . . . every . . . word. . . . Right?"

    By now she was laughing, realizing she had proved her own stupidity.

    I rest my case.

    Governor Palin is an idiot.

    She can't speak, walk or write.

    Her family is a disaster.

    She cannot do anything.

    What a waste of time.

    That is, she, as a person, is a complete waste of time.

    Anyone, anyone who believes she is worthwhile for any purpose, or capable of doing anything which would be of any value, is, sadly, completely wrong.

    Have a Dovely.

    Sincerely yours,
    Caleb Boone.

    June 16, 2013 03:45 am at 3:45 am |
  3. BD70

    Sure she doesn't mind facing protesters. One thing she does do well is shoot off her mouth and stir up trouble.

    June 16, 2013 04:11 am at 4:11 am |
  4. hannah

    Oh, no. Is SHE coming back out from under her rock? What makes her think anyone is interested in anything about her.
    She's still nuts.

    June 16, 2013 04:32 am at 4:32 am |
  5. freedom fan

    The woman is a complete nut. She needs to get help and forget politics.

    June 16, 2013 04:52 am at 4:52 am |
  6. Dar

    Sarah to world: "Show me the money!"

    How funny a Sarah hater would say that when all they want is free money!!!
    At least she works for it.

    June 16, 2013 05:03 am at 5:03 am |
  7. Rosario

    Palin is nothing but an empty vessel. She is as annoying as the sound of her voice! Not even the state of Alaska could put up with her frivolities!!

    June 16, 2013 05:05 am at 5:05 am |
  8. Rosario

    Palin is so irrelevant that no credible major network would offer her a job! Only the likes of Fixnews will take her back as it thrives on lies and imbalances news!!

    June 16, 2013 05:10 am at 5:10 am |
  9. Gilmore

    Her critics go on about how stupid she is, yet her critics are amongst the stupidest people I've ever encountered.

    Why are this woman's most strident detractors such a dim witted bunch?

    June 16, 2013 05:43 am at 5:43 am |
  10. Para Salin

    She's a tool.

    June 16, 2013 05:52 am at 5:52 am |
  11. Buster Cowins

    Do you remember the original Manchurian Candidate movie? One of the main characters was a bungling marionette politician, Senator John Iselin. He played a sellout who would say anything to stay in the limelight. He seldom had an original thought. His greatest asset was that he was a great actor. He played his role regardless of the consequences. Do you remember? Now think of Sarah.

    June 16, 2013 05:55 am at 5:55 am |
  12. W.G.

    Honestly ??? I really hope she does run for office !!! This would prove how backward and GOOFY the far
    right really is !!! PLEASE Sarah PLEASE run for office again !!!!

    June 16, 2013 05:57 am at 5:57 am |
  13. Just Call Me Lucifer

    Sarah Palin makes baby Jesus cry.

    June 16, 2013 06:38 am at 6:38 am |
  14. Debbie

    This woman has been gone for so long why because she has nothing of value to say. She believes that she is funny but alas she isn't. she doesn't speak for women she has no chance to spark women and get them engaged. The republican party is in big trouble they can't connect with women, latino voters, or black voters and they still don't know why. If you listen to Hannity or any of the other talk show radio jockeys they blame democrats when in reality it is they who can't connect because of outdate stance that no one is interested in but them.

    Sarah do us a favor go home to Alaska you lost all credibility when you quit your job as. Who want a role modekl who couldn't even finish her term in office YOU QUIT............ And you are a voice for working people.

    June 16, 2013 06:55 am at 6:55 am |
  15. Keith TX

    Looking at a different angle, there is humor in her speech. How about signing her up on SNL? I certainly will be looking forward to having good laugh on Saturday nights.

    June 16, 2013 07:19 am at 7:19 am |
  16. Fudgey2

    When will her 15 minutes of fame ever end?

    June 16, 2013 07:38 am at 7:38 am |
  17. mf

    Amber Alert. Somewhere a village is missing it's idiot.

    June 16, 2013 07:44 am at 7:44 am |
  18. DocHollywood

    Palin and witticism is an oxymoron. They should never be used in the same sentence.

    June 16, 2013 07:53 am at 7:53 am |
  19. Vader

    "..because facing the protesters, facing the critics – that's something I do well."

    Ummm.... not so much. Put you in front of your adoring sheep with canned "witticisms" and you do fine. Put you under the gun asking real questions....?

    June 16, 2013 08:02 am at 8:02 am |
  20. TeapartyRob

    Keep speaking the truth sarah and we will win. These libnuts say anything and do anything to smear you. The left is very scared of you because they know your much smarter and wiser then the guy occupying the white house at this moment!!! Palin2016 WE WILL WIN!!!!

    June 16, 2013 08:08 am at 8:08 am |
  21. Mr Dalloway

    What a classic buffoon The Three Stooges has nothing on this chick

    June 16, 2013 08:10 am at 8:10 am |
  22. Mr Dalloway

    As I once heard a person say, all she needs is a red rubber nose and exploding shoes

    June 16, 2013 08:17 am at 8:17 am |
  23. Dr. GeneRIpper, PhD

    Lulu, "free thinking women who don't necessarily want children" have no purpose for existence in nature and make no contribution to the country. In fact , they are a drain on America. As careerists who reject the proper natural role as mothers, they only serve to dilute the wage pool and raise unemployment for men who are supposed to be supporting families.

    Feminism has been one of the major nails in the coffin of western civilization. It is why white Americans will be a minority in a failed (due to demographic decline) nation before long.

    June 16, 2013 08:33 am at 8:33 am |
  24. F. Lee Hall III

    She sounds no different than most of the Tea Baggers, ahhh, I mean Tea Partiers I have spoken with in the past. They all seem to be brainwashed and incapable of original thought.

    June 16, 2013 08:38 am at 8:38 am |
  25. Jack

    Oh, please go away lady, You make both my wife & I want to upchuck. Between Michell Bachman, Donald Trump, Sarah Palin, it is like watching a circus freak show. Barbara Bush is right; Palin stay in Alaska in the tundra preferrably

    June 16, 2013 08:42 am at 8:42 am |
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