Washington (CNN) – The U.S. Chamber of Commerce is hoping the freshman class of lawmakers, who arrived in Washington for orientation on Tuesday, will drive America to regulation-less "Prosperity Park."
Not so coincidentally, that's the goal of a politically-charged new board game the Chamber gave to more than 500 representatives and senators in Washington and all 50 state governors this week. Inside the box: a cacophony of regulatory disasters that could only be described as a businessperson's worst nightmare.
Game pieces you don't want to pick up, after the jump:
Also inside the box: The point of the U.S. Chamber of Commerce.
CNN obtained one of the games from the Chamber to give it a go. It wasn't easy.
But it's not supposed to be. A press release notes that "like the unfortunate reality facing America's job creators, getting [to Prosperity Park] is easier said than done."
Especially when 74 of the 90 game cards tell you to move backwards.
A number of daunting spectacles dot the pathway to playtime prosperity: labor lagoon, lawsuit lake, energy edge, financial reform falls and health care reform hill. But as the box notes, the pursuit is "more than a game-it's an
unfortunate reality."
"Until our elected officials embrace the free enterprise principles upon which this country was built, millions of unemployed and underemployed Americans will never reach Prosperity Park," the game's box reads.
The game is a reminder to newly-elected Republicans from the Chamber, which spent millions of dollars on television ads that greatly benefited conservative candidates in the midterm election season, to follow through on free market
principles in the nation's capital.
Chamber spokesman Bryan Goettel said 1,025 of the games were made, but wouldn't disclose how much money the organization paid for them. The group also launched a website for anyone not influential enough to receive one of the
physical copies.
Some of the game pieces you don't want to pick up:
An environmental group sues your proposed 3,200-cow dairy farm under state National Environmental Policy Act regulation citing the cows' methane emissions for their contribution to climate change.
-Go back 2 spaces.
You fired two employees because you have video evidence of them taking illegal drugs on your property. The National Labor Relations Board orders you to rehire the employees since you didn't bargain with the union about the location of the video camera.
-Move back 1 space.
You didn't realize until two months after you increased your co-pay by $5 that your health plan will be entirely reevaluated under the "grandfathering" regulation. You owe $100 per enrollee, per violation, per day until you fix this issue.
-Move back 5 spaces.
The National Labor Relations Board prosecutes you for violating labor laws, but the court rules in your favor, finding the union charges that led to the prosecution were false. You still owe $100,000 or more in attorneys' fees.
-Lose your next turn.
You actually do the proper written analysis for each employee indicating why he or she is not qualified for overtime in accordance with the Fair Labor Standards Act. You are then sued in a class action lawsuit challenging your determinations and seeking millions of dollars in damages.
-Move back 3 spaces.