[cnn-photo-caption image= http://i2.cdn.turner.com/cnn/2008/images/11/27/art.donnacover1127.am.jpg caption="After reading Donna Brazile's memoir, you'll never hunger for politics again."]
Twenty years ago this Thanksgiving, my mom passed away. We buried her the day before and it was hard. No one knew what to do. No one understood how to cook up seafood gumbo, oyster dressing, stuffed bell peppers and pecan pie like Jean.

In fact, no one ever used her special gumbo pot or pans used to stir up the roux until that day back in 1988.

I will never understand why my siblings left it up to me to cook the family meal. It was my first time ever behind Jean's stove. It was the first time ever using her pots.

Unfortunately, I cannot come up with all my delicious recipes. But I can share with you, my mother made every Thanksgiving dish with joy - a dash of laughter, a pinch of cheer. And yes - something cold.

This is simple to make. It's call "roux" and for those who wants to make sure your family stands together this holiday season through thick and thicker, here's the recipe.

Over a nice and large sauce or frying pan, pour one cup of olive, vegetable or canola oil in and start stirring.

Turn the fire down low.

Let it simmer.

And while the oil is sizzling, just remember those days when things were not so hard.

Keep the fire burning. It's just getting hot.

Hmmmm. That's exhaling.

Now, pour about one and a half cups of flour into the hot greasy pan.

Yes, stir. Stir out all those negative thoughts - (right here, fill in the blanks).

Don't add nothing. Just stir.

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